no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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