Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
