He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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