we're blogging at a bar
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
is it fun? or sober?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
