There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
