well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
