ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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