Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
