What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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