Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
