Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You just made me feel so damn special
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize