i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
