Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
