I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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