so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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