Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
