how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
