Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
