I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
