i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
