btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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