i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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