Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
