i permit you to call me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
