how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
