i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
