I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
