HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize