whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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