We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize