he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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