Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize