We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
