ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
