You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
