yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
