i permit you to call me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
