My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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