his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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