Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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