I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize