We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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