I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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