well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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