I wanna passion pit in your ass
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we're so committed to being not committed
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