I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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