well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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