Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
