Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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