so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
