I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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