Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
PANTIES FOUND
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