I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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