I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
