yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize