Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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