Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it glows. i had to have it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
