margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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