I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
