Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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