And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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