I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
