Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
