While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
