If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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