You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
