Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
