It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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