I think I died a long time ago.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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