I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
