I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize