I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize