pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
