i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
