do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
