oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
