I love black thongs
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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