You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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