i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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