No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This beer is not sobering me up at all
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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